The awful weekend

It's been dark, cold and rainy the whole weekend.
I absolutely hate it.
I went to the mall with Therese this Friday, had an awesome time, Therese made a lot of nice buys when I on the other hand, who have to be concerned about money 24/7 bought this black and white striped top that I'm wearing on SALE for 50 SEK, couldn't say no to that, I'm very satisfied with it. (even tho I wish I could have bought whatever I'd liked or needed, which I really can't) Sleept all saturday morning, woke up in the afternoon, had a fight, went bananas, but then finaly got my and Jason's ass in to the City to enjoy a lovely Asian buffé dinner. (it wasn't lovely really, but it was alright...I had a coupon, and the staff working there looked miserable, I'm talking about the restaurant East City.) Sunday, woke up at 11 am, yay for me, that's the earliest all week I've gotten up from bed, Dad helped me change the tires on my car to winter ones, thanks, and I helped him Christmas decorate his store.
Came home and noticed a crack on my car windshield!!!!! NOOOO! it's ruined, I don't have the money to fix it, it's just gonna have to be there, all ugly...uh...a big crack.
Got inside, started to watch Ugly Betty, enjoyed it fairly, and then my mother barged into my room and forced the vacuum cleaner on me, I asked for a min. but of course NO, I can't possible get a min. and finish the episode off, oh no no, arguing started, and then a huge fight, tears, a lot of finger pointing, and talk about respect which is lacking in the house from everyone, one of the reasons why I hate living at home, people stepping on my boyfriend and talking shit about him, I can't stand and just take that crap. I was yelling like I've never yelled before. Jason hugged me afterward and told me I was brave and strong for once standing up for myself. Then after the fight my mother comes to me and tells me she doesn't want my money anymore and wants me to leave the house, I have one month...
and when getting the news, I hurt my knee when walking towards my room in anger.
So today I feel like shit, and I hate my life!
it's always a fucking struggle!
I hate it, I hate that I'm not feeling happy, I'm not a happy person anymore and thinking about it like that makes me feel so sad and upset. it's like I've lost my spark and my glow...my happiness, cause there's so much negativity surrounding me. Is it all in my head maybe? No...I don't know.
I just really hate life right now.
Dad tells me I will feel so much better though if I move, and I know I will, but where...I can't find a place to live.

Comments

Popular Posts